A different look

I've just spent a while looking through blog backgrounds as my last one felt too glitzy and fun just now. I decided on this one, which is called "Power of Love" and seemed much more appropriate. I noticed, too, that the design elements for this background are provided by someone called Lindsay Jane, so that clinched it really...odd coincidence! (Jayne is my middle name)

My weekend

It's been a mixed few days here. Weather wise, the rain has been coming down sideways most of the time and the wind has been causing havoc with the larger shrubs in the garden as well as the tomatoes in the growbag, though I think I've rescued them.

Heather and I had seen a Vintage and Crafts fair advertised at the famous Winter Gardens theatre in Blackpool and decided it might be an interesting one to go to. The local Church also had an event on Saturday evening called "The Music of the Night" which was to be a concert of songs from the musicals by the Blackpool and Fylde Operatic company. So, my Saturday was all planned and a day to look forward to.
I hadn't been into the Winter Gardens since I was a teenager and it's been fully renovated and looks beautiful with its Victorian architecture and styling. I didn't buy much, just a very pretty Ivy leaf cup, saucer and side plate, but there were quite a few things that I would have purchased if money had been no object. I was especially taken with one stall that was filled with an array of fairies, mermaids, encrusted shells and mirrors, jewellery and much more. All created by a very talented lady called Wendy Moore - if you click her name you'll go straight to her website. I particularly liked the delicate fairies. I know that Heather will be sharing some photos of the fair in her blog if you want to check them out.
From there we carried on to TK Maxx where I bought a couple of very pretty mugs, a nice little tray and this lovely box.... .....it's a wide shoebox size with metal handles and corners and just what I needed to keep all the cards that David and I received in. There were so many beautiful cards as you can see.... .....so yesterday I placed them all in the box as well as the cards from all the flowers and the many letters that I've been sent since David's death. They will all be treasured. It did feel a bit strange taking the cards down, but I wanted to make sure everything was safely kept together. If you right click the picture and click "open link in new window" then you'll be able to see them in more detail.
I walked up to the Church through the park last night, getting a bit blown away and damp on the way. When I arrived, the Vicar was just explaining that the concert had been cancelled as they couldn't get enough of the singers together - probably the weather I expect. I was so disappointed as I'd been really looking forward to it, and must admit that I felt quite low all evening. However, tonight is the "Songs of Praise" service at the Church....not the telly version, but a service with lots of music, so I'm going to that and hoping it will cheer me up.
Meanwhile, the sun is out now and I've been working on some projects for next weekend at the Craft Barn. It feels very odd working on something creative again and my fingers are covered in Gesso and paint for the first time in almost two months.
I've learned that absolutely nothing can prepare you for the heartache of losing your soul mate. I am just taking moments at a time, rather than days, and trying to think about all the happy memories rather than the sad times that plagued us over the last weeks. I stood for an age the other evening, just watching the Swallows flying round and round the large tree in the corner of the field behind the house. They were whirling and diving past me so closely that I could hear the whoosh as they went by. Tara sat beside me, as entranced as I was by their aerobatics. That was a moment to savour amidst the sadness and the reason I bought this mug yesterday. Just to remind me that, even in the depths of despair, nature has the capacity to lift our spirit even if just for a while.
Thomas is being a star and sleeps as close as he can get to me every night. I wake up to find him licking my cheek or purring into my ear and he waits outside the bathroom door when I go for my shower as if he's standing guard. Little trooper.
I think my Gesso will have dried now, so I'll get back to finishing this piece and then get ready for my walk up to the Church and some singing.

Work

David got very upset that I was cancelling work whilst he was ill and when he knew that the Extravaganza weekend at the Craft Barn was coming up he said "Oh no, you can't cancel that whatever happens". That was just like David, to give me the push to get back into work. So, I'll be in Lingfield on the 3oth June and 1st July along with more than twenty five designers and demonstrators including my good friend Andy.
I'll post details of my ongoing demonstrations as they come up as I'm just easing myself into things slowly at the moment.

My David

It seemed time to write this post to thank everyone for the kind comments, thoughtful emails and beautiful cards that David and I received and I know that he would have been very touched by all the moving things that have been said about him since his death.

Many of you knew David from when he was my "glamourous assistant" at workshops and have commented on his cheeky sense of humour as well as his encouraging words. He really did like joining in with everything and would sometimes sit in and make a card or two if he wasn't too busy getting the teas and coffees for everyone.

David was a caring, wise and good man who always thought about other people before himself. He'd go out of his way to help anyone, friend or stranger alike and nothing was ever too much trouble if he thought it was the right thing to do. I was, and am, so proud of him, especially in the last few weeks when he endured his illness without complaint, more worried about how I would cope than how he was feeling.

One piece of music has always summed up to me how David lived his life and we played our favourite version by Colm Wilkinson at his funeral. It's "The Impossible Dream" .....

"To dream the impossible dream
to fight the unbeatable foe
to bear, with unbearable sorrow
to run, where the brave dare not go.
To right the unrightable wrong,
to love, pure and chaste from afar.
To try, when your arms are too weary,
to reach the unreachable star.
This is my quest, to follow that star,
no matter how hopeless, no matter how far.
To fight for the right, without question or pause,
to be willing to march into Hell
for a Heavenly cause.
And I know if I'll only be true
to this glorious quest
that my heart will lie peaceful and calm
when I'm laid to my rest.
And the world will be better for this
that one man, scorned and covered with scars,
still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
to reach the unreachable star."

Although I'm devastated by his death, I know that I've been so lucky to have had thirty six years with the love of my life.

David didn't like having his photo taken, but I think he'd be alright with me sharing this one that Heather took when we went out to the local estuary to watch the birds a few weeks ago. Once again, thank you for all your kind messages, and apologies that I haven't got round to thanking everyone in person yet - please know that each and every message, card, email and letter has been much appreciated.

David's Funeral

The funeral service for David will be held at 11.30am, on Friday 8th June, in St Chad's church, situated in the Market Square in the centre of Poulton-Le-Fylde, Lancashire, FY6 7BE. Anybody who knew David, or knows Lindsay, and who would like to attend will be very welcome.
St Chads is a particularly beautiful Church with stunning stained glass windows and a very serene atmosphere.

The funeral directors have asked that any flowers be sent to them - Box Bros, 48-50 Station Road, Poulton-Le-Fylde, Lancashire, FY6 7JQ

Heather